A Long Distance Marriage

I’m not going to lie to you, this has been the most tiring year of my life.
So many things happened that would leave all of you speechless, but that’s not what you’re here to read.

I always looked at people going through this and thought to myself “they’re doing great” and “they’re really strong people” and “I’m glad they are able to manage this LDR”.
What I didn’t know, soon became my own reality.

Even after moving to Berlin, I am still not done working on my visa papers to be able to stay there for good.
So the long-distance marriage begins, and it’s not quite the dream.

First of all, let me begin by explaining to you that I am the worst person you could talk to on WhatsApp. I rarely ever understand if you’re serious, joking, sarcastic, or just not in the mood to talk.
How would anyone ever know anyway?
That was the first problem I had because when you misunderstand someone who’s kilometers away, there’s nothing you can do about it except call and try to fix it.
Which leads me to the second problem!
Calling anyone who’s abroad with our terrible internet is really a challenge.
I recommend subscribing to the largest Mobile Data your cell phone provider has to offer unless you have a badass internet at home. Then you’re just really lucky.
And speaking of luck, it’s a good thing we only have a one hour difference otherwise I don’t know what I would’ve done. I like my good night sleep.

So if you’re here for some tips, I would gladly add a few things to what Nicole had to say in her own blog post, from my own perspective.

Enjoy your time alone with your family, it won’t be long before you have to join your partner abroad.

It’s important to know each others’ schedules during the day to avoid texting or calling at the wrong time.

Use the same Netflix account and watch the same series together: you’ll have something new to discuss.

Try to stay as positive as you can, it keeps the relationship alive. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety!

Set a date. Decide when one of you will get to see the other again, don’t leave this subject hanging. It literally destroys all hope.

 

 

Try to celebrate all the little things you wouldn’t even notice before.

See this as a new way to accumulate airline miles!

It will never be 100% perfect, don’t beat yourself up every time something happens.

It’s been 5 months for us. I’m still learning, discovering, making mistakes and laughing at myself. This will never be a piece of cake, but it can be bearable when you want it to work.
I know many people who live together and yet aren’t as close as a LDR couple is.
Which reminds me of something I read on Twitter:

“You can be in the same room with the same person for years, and be in a long distance relationship.” 

Distance is only as hard as you make it!

I hope that after Nicole’s tips and mine, you can understand that every relationship takes work, but one with a long distance, takes twice the hard work- but it does not mean it is not feasible.

If you’re in a LDR, please share your tips in the comments below!